:-) HUMOR: Funny Acquisitions Position announcement (not) (fwd) Mitch Turitz 31 Jul 1995 15:38 UTC
Humorous job announcement (not). -- Mitch forwarded from LaVonne Jacobsen (of SFSU). Thanks LJ! _^_ _^_ ( ___ )-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-( ___ ) | | | | | | Mitch Turitz, Serials Librarian | | | | San Francisco State University Library | | | | Internet: turitz@sfsu.edu | | | | | | ( ___ )-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-==-=-=-=-=-==-( ___ ) V V "Outsourcing is a desperate remedy for management failure, not the criticism of catalogers." -- Michael Gorman, "Crisis in Subject Cataloging and Retrieval" June 25, 1995, ALA Conference, Chicago ---------- Forwarded message ---------- Date: Fri, 28 Jul 1995 13:31:53 -0700 (PDT) From: LaVonne Jacobsen <lavonne@mercury> Subject: Funny Acquisitions Position announcement (not) (fwd) --------------------- The following is a fictious position announcement (unfortunately it does not exist, yet). LIBRARY MATERIAL RETURN SPECIALIST Anticipated new position created due to expanding publisher's marketing efforts and the collapse of overworked acquisitions staffs. Responsible for coordinating returns of unsolicited material from publishers in the legal field. DUTIES INCLUDE: research to determine if item has in fact been ordered, research to determine if item is already held by library, coordinating with subject specialist or collection development librarian on whether title should be kept, waiting for busy subject specialist or collection librarian to find time for retention decision, calling publisher for return authorization, waiting for authorization to arrive in mail, coordination with invoice/bookkeeping department to ensure payment is not made, if payment is made by statement, contact publisher to request credit memo, wait for credit memo to arrive, coordination with accounts payable department to ensure credit is properly applied and copy sent to publisher, adjustment of invoice to reflect postage/ handling charge, adjusting accounting and fund accounts, typing letter to accompany book return, making copies of all paperwork, maintaining files on returns, locating adequately-sized shipping carton, going to supply closet to retrieve another roll of packing tape, weighing box to determine shipping weight, sending box(es) to mail room, processing next unsolicited title that has arrived. REQUIREMENTS: Effective communication, interpersonal, and strong problem-solving skills, limitless patience, resiliency, sense of humor. PREFERRED: Hockey goalie experience, understanding of used car salesmanship. SALARY: this position is paid as piece-work, potential salary of $100K+. Excellent benefits including extra vacation time for hardship duty, paid therapy. Send resume and certificate of physical stamina to:....