"Petty Officer McNeely, I heard that the Navy recently discontinued several well-loved traditions. Damn shame, I must say. I cannot imagine what sort of bureaucrat was behind such absurdity. Traditions are what keep the spirit in our Navy and we want that, don't we? Damn shame.
Unrelatedly, we have a pantry and a sideboard in our galley which happen, by odd circumstance, to have not had a count nor correct accounting of contents for years now... I guess we just never have the time or energy. Sometimes things just seem to disappear, even whole bottles of fine spirits, or so it seems. This is such a regular occurance aboard, we just don't worry about it... it's just absorbed in our gross margins. A few bottles here or there is hardly anything to make a fuss over, now is it?"